playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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