it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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