She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
