u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
