can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This toilet bowl is my home.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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