Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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