There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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