my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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