Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My liver just broke up with me...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
