adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
