office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
