Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
