I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
