is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
