I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
