I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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