You made me cry and you don't even care
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
