In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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