Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
