Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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