What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
