I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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