Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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