Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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