sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
