i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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