Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
