Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
