remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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