Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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