I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
