He is such a slut. More and more my type.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
