one might say we're banned from that church
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am naked and annoyed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
