Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
