he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
