just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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