Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
