how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
