I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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