I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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