i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
