Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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