In the future we'll all be gay
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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