You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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