You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
