Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
