Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
