We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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