you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
