Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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