She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
