Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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