apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
