Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize