the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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