i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I could fuck to npr.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
