Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize