Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize