i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Who died my cat blue again?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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