I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
