you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
