This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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