You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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