You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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