I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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