Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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