i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
