A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
