i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
