Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
