I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
