The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
