You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize