Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Are my feet made of real feet?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
