Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
