My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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